I’ve been to Wichita a few times in my life, but I can’t say that I understand its culture well enough to comment, but if my relatives are any indication, then this recent article “Postcard from Wichita” in TIME magazine is right–Wichitans believe that religion is a personal, private matter, not to be shared openly or publicly.
Are you surprised? I was surprised that it wasn’t just a family quirk. That there are people out there, lots of them presumably, who feel the same way certainly surprises me. And it makes me wonder, too, if there isn’t a reason for that. For those of us who believe that a core part of living out our faith in Jesus is to share our faith with others, through good works as well as through sharing of the Gospels, this idea is completely weird. Is there really any need in modern America for us to keep silent about our faith to the point of not sharing it with our inquisitive neighbors? I’m not talking about knocking on the doors of unsuspecting people–I’m talking about inviting a new neighbor to your church when they ask you for recommendations.
But these aren’t the only people I’ve heard express the belief that they don’t feel like they “need church” in order to believe, the premise being, I’m guessing, that they only need to believe in order to be saved. It’s hard to know for sure, mostly because these same people aren’t terribly talkative about their faith, and in my experience at least, aren’t very willing to engage in conversation about it (not that that stops me from trying).
Now, this is not to say that every single one of them are selfish, un-giving, unkind people–to the contrary. Most of the “personal spirituality” adherents I know and talk to regularly are very giving people who volunteer with grueling labor-of-love projects regularly, with the intent to help and give to those around them. Not exactly fitting of the definition of “self-centered”.
Though I cannot call them selfish or self-centered, really, as far as their use of their time goes, I do notice one thing. A common phrase I hear often when engaging in spiritual discussions with these people is that they “don’t need someone telling [them] what to do or how to live their lives”. It seems that they have an aversion, not only to having a preacher/priest engaging in community spiritual direction, but they also appear to have an aversion to peer-to-peer spiritual communication.
I’m sure some of this must come from varying experiences which have had their toll on the psyches of these individuals (I’m not calling them crazy–just human) which outweighs their desire to be a part of a community, especially a part of a spiritual community. Shyness and introversion (not the same thing) seem to be a common thread as well.
I’m guilty of that–both shyness and introversion. And I’ve experienced enough disappointment and frustration with some of the people I’ve encountered along the path to definitely have earned the “damaged psyche” badge. So why, as a child raised by two parents who were quite stubbornly isolationist in their spiritual habits (as far as I know, they never prayed together), and one of whom is very shy, did I end up pursuing so stubbornly a spiritual community of my own to belong to?
I think we crave spiritual communion with others, as well as with God. Why would Twitter and Facebook and the like all be so popular if it weren’t for that need to be socially connected? Is there more to works than merely “doing good for others”? Does that also include “being with others in communion”? I believe so, perhaps if only because in my experience faith, alone and apart from others, is lonely and stagnant.
